Day 5 - 12-5-2010

Windy Again! Top was blowing and visibility was horrible. It was a pretty uninspiring day really. Had the new Fujas out though. What a great ski. Easy to ski and really really fun. Of course as soon as I left the mountain the sun started to come out. I think that is just the mountains way of getting me to come back and hope there is going to be better weather next time around. Well it works.....I'll be back.

Day 4 - 12-4-2010

Windy!! Got up late and started skiing around noon. The weather was a bit temperamental. It was sunny at the base and fealt like it was blowing about 50 up at the top of the mountain. None the less it was another good day with the crew and the snow was cold and chalky.

Day 3 - 11-27-2010

Well the new snow is finally all skied out. However the new season is underway and the mountain is again a giant bump field. The snow was still good today though. It was a bit grabby but hey were skiing. South Back opened but we didn't venture out that way. Still a bit early in the season to head all the way out there.

Today was the first day I got to ski with the crew too. John, Karen, Brian, and Swany were all out in force. It's always a good time when the "winter family" gets back together.

Got some pretty cool footage from the two days around Thanksgiving. Take a look!!

Day 2 - 11-25-2010

More new snow today. It was pretty packed and settled but I got to ski with Swany for the first time this year, that's always fun. We did ski Rink-a-Dink and for the first time in a long time it wasn't that great. Kind of wind packed. Usually it's pretty protected from the weather but not on this day.

Day 1 - 11-20-2010

So the season got started early this year. Skiing in November in the north west is a real treat. Normally if were skiing by Christmas were stoked but skiing before Thanksgiving?? I'll take it. Of course skiing this early in the season you have to remember EARLY SEASON CONDITIONS EXIST. The top of the mountain was closed due to a lack of snow and the fact that they were still working on the gondola and had the cable on the ground. I pretty much just cruised around Forest Queen and dodged all the rocks for a few hours. Then that's when it happened. We had heard whisperings about it but didn't think it was going to actually happen. Powder Bowl was open!! It was only open long enough to ski two laps but they were two bottomless pow laps that made the day. Winter was back and it was shaping up to be a great one. Check out the video from opening day. It's short but pretty much sums it all up!

Let's go skiing!!

So I know it's been ages since I posted anything on my blog. I'm lame I know. But since my recovery is going pretty well I thought I could go from talking about dealing with getting well and start talking about what I'm up to in the mountains this winter. So here goes ..... the huge-heart ski blog is about to begin! Enjoy!!

Where's the wall!

So I finally got my first open water swim under my belt! It's a little different than being in the pool. Scratch that it's a LOT different. There's no wall every twenty five yards to push off and you can't just stand up if you get tired. It's a pretty interesting feeling when you start to get away from the shore a little bit. Even though I was swimming with a partner it was really lonely. You get to a point where you realize that you are a good distance from the shore and if something where to happen there's no real way out. There's no guarantee that the person with me would even hear me if I were in destress. Then you start to feel tired but you realize that you have to push on and go farther. And then the inevitable happens, the wind starts to blow. And of course its a head wind. So what can you do.....you have to push on. One stoke after the next. It's a real mental test.

Being in the water is like a proving ground for me. There's no easy way out. I take all the training and put it to practical use when I'm in the open water. There's only one option and that is to keep swimming. Then a half mile later I'm done. I get to stand up out of the water and know that I accomplished my goal. I did it. No one else did it for me. That's a good feeling. That's the kind of feeling that makes me want to keep going, to keep pushing on.

All I have to do now is do it again! I'll be back in the water soon and hopefully better than ever!



On a totally unrelated note .... if you need a good chuckle check this video out. My roommate really lovers her some Jimmy Johns. Laughing is a great therapy for whatever ales you!

Are you motivated??

So i finally did it. I swam a mile today. Granted it was in the pool but I did it none the less. 70 lengths gets a little monotonous. Gives you lots of time to think about why you shouldn't be in the pool for that long. Gives doubt a lot of time to creep into your ever weakening mind. It allows you to think of all the excuses for why you should just get out of the pool and do it another day. I mean you'll always have tomorrow, right? Really makes you wonder what must go through someones mind while they are swimming a triathlon and still have a bike ride and run to look forward to.

This is when you have to make a decision, do you take control over your brain that is wandering into all kinds of ugly places or do you let it take control of you? Tonight I made the decision to beat back all those ugly thoughts and push on. Believe me, for a while I wanted out of that pool in a bad way. But let me tell you....when you finally finish it's all worth it. Kind of makes you want to throw your hands up and proclaim "I WIN!" Feels like people should be raising babies and throwing soft cheeses! Go Alphonse Go!

It takes a certain amount of motivation to overcome these sorts of things. I wish I could say I just look deep inside and find all the motivation I need but that's not the way it works! Don't get me wrong....we all have "it" inside of us. But sometimes it takes a little push from an outside force to help see us through. To help us find that "it" that is buried deep within us. So you have to find what motivates you. Find that song, or video, or person that makes you want to push just a little harder. Latch on to that and let it help you to the finish because there wont always be a tomorrow. Remember to be great today so you don't regret yesterday, tomorrow!

There really are only two types of people in this world. Those that say "I can" and those that say "I can't". I CAN do it! Can you? Challenge yourself to get motivated today. Do something, whatever it is. It may be at work, at school, in the gym, on a bike, or in a pool. Just find what motivates you and go for it....it's all worth it once you cross that finish line!

Need some motivation? Check these out!

Inspirational Nike Ad
Iron Man Video

Have some motivation you would like to share? Leave it in a comment.

July 17th, 2010

On this day we have all been blessed by the birth of a beautiful child. This world is a better place today than it was yesterday. With the love, compassion, drive, and determination that will be passed down from her parents, this child will do great things!

Mark my words, July 17th 2010 was a special day for us all.

So now as a community and a family we must all play a roll in seeing this child rise to greatness. We must remember that it is not only a mother and father that will shape this life. While mom and dad may set the course the rest of the "village" must do its part too.

It's interesting to look back at life and see all of the people who helped to shape me into the person I am today. The list stretches far beyond my family. Knowing that I have the love and support of so many people is a special feeling. One of those feelings that makes you feel like you can take on anything.

I got to see some old friends today. They are the kind of people that don't get a visit or phone call as often as they should and yet that doesn't seem to bother them. The love they express is unwavering. Once you become a part of their family you can never leave, even if for some reason you wanted to. They are special people and I am lucky to have them in my life.

Don't ever forget these people in your life, they are the people that shaped you into who you are today. And remember that today you are shaping someone else into who they will become tomorrow. So share that love and compassion that was shared with you and we will all be better off because of it.

Get committed

It's amazing how sports can imitate life, and vice versa. Starting to train for this triathlon has been a lesson in commitment. You have to be committed to getting on your bike or jumping in the pool everyday. And while some days only require an hour of training making the commitment to get that hour in is a lot more difficult than you would think. Life is always trying to get in the way, but if your really committed you MAKE time to train instead of MAKING excuses.

In life we always have a list of things we want to do or a list of things were going to do some day. It's the bucket list. But until you make a commitment to that list it will never get accomplished. Just having the desire to accomplish your goals does not mean that you are committed to them. I think that is going to be the first life lesson that this experience is going to teach me. And I better learn it quick. If I don't get committed in a hurry I'm going to be way behind my training schedule.

With that being said I think the first step to being committed is to actually sign up for my first triathlon. The Lake Meridian sprint is first on my list. The event will be August 22 and I think I'm going to sign up next week. Making that level of commitment will hopefully have a snowball effect and keep me committed to training.

Staying committed in life and athletics is the key to reaching your goals. So make the commitment and go accomplish something!

Triathlon?

So things have been going well with the ol' ticker. So I'm thinking since I have a heart that works I might as well use it. Why not a triathlon? I mean it doesn't have to be a full Ironman, but maybe someday.

I meet with my Dr. next week and I'm hoping he might lift the heart rate limit or at least raise it above 160. Then it's on! If I can make it through an open heart surgery why can't I run a triathalon?

Stay posted...more to come!


- Posted from my interpersonal communication device

Back to Work

Things just keep getting better and better. Finally started back to work last week. It's great to be out of the house but getting back in the swing of things at work is proving to be a bit harder than I thought. You don't realize how much really happens in the month that you are gone. Other than the actual work part of WORK I love being back. I can't express how incredible the people I work with are. The love and support they have shown me really is amazing. Big Ups to the entire K2 crew for everything they have done for me.

Finally got to start Cardiac Therapy as well. It's great to be able to move and exercise some. I get to spend 15 minutes on a treadmill, walking of course, and 15 minutes on a stationary bike. There are a few other exercises in between. For now it is all pretty moderate but they promise me we will continue to ramp it up. I told the Dr. that i want to try and run the 5k at work on May 10th for the Shape up the Nation program and he seemed to think that was doable. For sure I can walk it but i want to at least jog. 3.1 miles isn't really that far. I have a few weeks to get ready and I think I can do it.

Other than that life is looking up. Things are getting better everyday and starting to get back to normal. That's all for now but I will be sure to try and update this sometime next week.

See ya

Pictures Please

Hey everyone. Some people had been asking to see the pics of me in the hospital so here you go. Fair warning....I look like death in some of these. There not all pretty. Lots of tubes and wires hanging out of me. So if things like this are tough on your stomace you may not want to look ahead. Just remember as bad as some of these look....I'm doing great now. :)

This was pre-op. I was loving the super rad blow up suite they had me wear!



This was me right after surgery. I had more stuff hanging from me than you can imagine. At least by now my hands weren't tied to the bed anymore.

Here's the post-op head shot. My agent loves this one. That yellow thing going into my neck was actually a device that went through my artery directly into my heart to measure the blood pressure inside my heart. CRAZY!


Here's me with the first nurse I had. His name is Darren. He was pretty much rad. Luckily i got to meet him again after my first day in the hospital cause honestly I don't remember ever taking this picture.

Finally they let me eat. I have some super sweet pudding in my left hand there. That was the first food of any kind that I had in the last 16 hours probably. Best pudding ever at that point.

Here I am a few days after surgery. Starting to look a bit more normal with a few less tubes and wires hanging out of me. That's Cat next to me. She is my surgeons head nurse. She kinda runs the show. Don't mess with Cat.

Been good!! Finally

Hey everyone....sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I think the Dr. appointments have slowed and things have been going well for the first time in a while and there's not a whole lot to talk about.

I had a couple of appointments last week. I met with my surgeon Dr. Luber for the last time. He said everything was looking good and he was happy with my progress. They let me start to drive again as well. I am a free man! It's so nice being able to get out of the house and not just be stuck in front of the TV all day. Besides letting be drive they did take some x-rays of my lungs and there is still some fluid around my left lung but nothing like it was last time. No one really seemed to worried about it. The Dr just wants me to take another x-ray next week to make sure it hasn't become worse.

After I saw Dr. Luber I went to see Dr. Bilnoski, my cardiologist, for a follow up. It was the first time I had seen him since my surgery. He did an EKG and an echo. They wanted to make sure there wasn't any more fluid around my heart, which thank goodness, there wasn't. He also increased the dosage of my beta blocker to try and slow my heart down. My pulse has still been pretty high, which isn't all that uncommon but its not a great thing either.

Other than that things have been going pretty well. Still going to the anti coagulation clinic twice a week trying to get my warfarin levels dialed in. Healing has been going well too. Starting to feel better everyday. There is still some fatigue but that will go away over time. Also I am starting Cardiac Therapy tomorrow. I was supposed to start last week but the hospital canceled on me and rescheduled. The therapy should be good. They will help me get my heart and lungs going again but in a safe and monitored manner. I am looking forward to that!

That's all for now....

That sucked....literally

So....headed back to the hospital today. They wanted to drain the fluid from around my lung. I headed in at 12:45 for a 1:00 appointment. After waiting for half an hour and watching two pregnant ladies come and go I headed to the lab to get blood drawn. They needed to check my INR and make sure it was at or below 1.5. Of course it took forty minutes to get the results back. We headed down to radiology, where they were going to do the procedure to wait. After about an hour they came back with my results and sure enough my INR was 1.5 on the nose. It was game time.

They took me back into the room with the ultrasound. They use the ultrasound to see where the fluid is and to guide the giant needle into my back. I was sitting up on the edge of the bed with my arms resting on a table. The doctor was behind me and telling me what was going on. After he did a cursory check with ultrasound to see where he was aiming things started to get fun. First he took a lidocaine needle that was described to me later as "not that bad" and ran it around a couple inch circle to numb everything. The doctor described it as a pinch and burn. It definitely pinched and burrrrrned for a few minutes. Once everything was numb things were much better. Now that he was done with the lidocaine he took a second needle that was around five inches long and ran it into my back into the fluid sack around my lung. He then hooked a hose to the needle and put the end of the hose into a bottle that was vacuum sealed so that it would suck the evil liquid from my body. And boy did it suck. After probably only a minute or so it really started to hurt. It started to hurt because there was no fluid left for it to suck and it felt like it was trying to suck me through the needle. So they pulled the huge, giant needle from my back and all i got to show for the whole deal was a little band aid. They did show me the fluid afterwards. It was something like 650 ml. Over half a liter. Think of a one liter soda bottle half full. That all came out of me. It's crazy to look at. You wonder where in the hell there was room for all that.

Things are pretty much back to normal now. After the whole deal I was a little sore while my lung tried to expand into the new space. Feels like a knot inside your back. Not a knot in the muscle but deeper than that. My back is still pretty tight but that should go away soon. Just one more adventure in what is becoming a long list of trips to St. Joes.

Hopefully that is the last trip I have to make besides follow up appointments and cardiac therapy that starts next week. They say it's not all that uncommon to have to be drained more than once but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will be a one and done patient.

And the hits just keep on comin....

So here we go again. Back to the hospital. I Was hanging out enjoying the sun yesterday and all of a sudden I started draining fluid from one of my chest tube holes. I couldn't believe how much fluid I was losing. I hadn't even been bleeding, the incision was starting to heal and then wham fluid everywhere. It drained so much I went through three huge gauze pads and all the way threw a towel that was folded over twice. Luckily I wasn't bleeding it was just clear liquid. So we headed back to the surgeons office and took some chest x-rays and sure enough I have something like 500 ml of fluid around my lung again. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I just want to get better. All these little setbacks are becoming frustrating.

Anyways in order to get the fluid out they told me to stop taking my Warfarin so that my blood will clot better. I have to get my INR down to 1.5 which will probably take until tomorrow. Today it was at 1.8 so I should be able to get it down. The plan right now is to head into the hospital tomorrow at 1:00. They will run some labs to make sure that everything is in order. Then they will stick a big 'ol needle in my back and drain the extra fluid out. They will do it all while looking at an ultra sound machine so that they can hit the fluid sack and not something else. Hopefully once they drain this fluid my body will stop producing more fluid.

I wish I knew why this was happening. All the doctors say there really is nothing I can do about it. It just happens. It's not all that uncommon. Some people's bodies just deal with massive surgery different than others. The fluid comes from inflamation caused from the two surgeries. Hopefully after tomorrow my body stops producing so much fluid and I can get on with getting better and stay out of the hospital.

Home Again

So I got out of the hospital for the second time Saturday afternoon. It's amazing how much a few little chest tubes can set you back. I mean when they describe the surgery to you it seams like nothing compared to the first operation. A "small" incision under my man boob to make a pericardial window and then two small holes for the drain tubes. Easy right? Not so much. Those three small holes hurt way more coming out of surgery than having my entire chest opened up. Granted it didn't take me as long to come out of this surgery....it just hurt a lot for a few hours, until they could get some drugs in me. The pain was so bad because the doctor basically spreads your ribs (no breaking though) and shoves a couple tubes between them to help with drainage. I got to keep those tubes for a day and a half. Every time I would breathe I could feel the pain in my ribs from those tubes moving around. It was really frustrating to have to be going threw all of this again. Not only was I frustrated to be going through another surgery so quickly but when I came out of this one I was sore and cranky.

Getting the chest tubes out is pretty fun too. I didn't realize how long they were each tube was probably 8-10 inches long. The doctor who removed them told me to breathe in and out three times and on the third one he told me to bare down. Sure enough on that third big breathe I felt a couple of tubes snaking their way out of my abdomen. At least he pulled them both at the same time. Getting them removed didn't hurt as much as I thought they would put its a pretty weird feeling.

Once those tubes were out I got to stay in the hospital for another day of observation and x-ray to make sure there wasn't any more fluid building up and then they sent me on my way again.

Again I have to say that the people at St. Joe's Hospital are pretty amazing. I was actually in the same room with the same nurses after my second surgery. They are all amazing people and took great care of me. Hopefully I never have to do anything like this again but if I should have to I know where I'm going.

All is well for now and things seem to be healing up nicely. Talk to ya later....

I'm alive...again

Hey everyone! Just wanted to drop a quick note and let you all know that I flew threw another surgery today. Got a chest tube to drain out all the fluid that was around my heart. This tube hurts like the dickens when I breathe but it's nothing a few percaset can't take care.

The goal right now is to be out of here tomorrow, assuming all goes well. They will remove the chest tubes in the morning which will eliminate the majority of the pain, then I will be out of here early afternoon.

Thanks again for all the love and support.


- Posted from my interpersonal communication device

Round 2!! DING!!

So things got pretty exciting this morning. Had a little episode. Woke up around 2:45 in a whole lotta pain. Really had no idea what was going on. Apparently I passed out from an extremely fast heart rate. Dad had to call the ambulance and they whisked me off to the hospital.

When we got here they starred taking blood and running all kind of tests. Come to find out I have a lung that's not working so well cause it's got some mucas in it and there's some excess fluid around my heart.

What's this mean? Oh boy were having surgery again. Don't worry it's nothing like last time. There gonna give a little two inch incission between my ribs and use a needle to take the fluid away from my heart. After that there going to put a tube into my left lung and suck all that mucus out so I can breathe a little better. It's a pretty simple procedure but I will be in the hospital a few days again.

Thanks for all the support Surgery should be around 12:00 and I'll let everyone know when I'm out.

See ya on the flip side!


- Posted from my interpersonal communication device

All abouit the small things

People always say life is all about the small things but what does that really mean? I don't think most people know. What are the small things? Well I think I am beginning to figure it out. Being laid up around the house helps you realize a few things. All the things you can't do with a broken sternum make you realize that life really is all about the small things.

For instance....putting socks on. How many people get up in the morning and need help putting socks on. I do! Especially the fancy compression socks I get to wear everyday. The Dr. wont even let me try to put those on by myself.

Another small thing....taking a shower. If you're anything like me when you get in the shower each morning your a little groggy and take it for granted. You just jump in enjoy the hot water and jump out to start your day. For me, now, it's not quite so easy. To start I need help getting the shower turned on. Then trying to reach around and clean everything is nearly impossible. It takes forever and I can't even dry my own back when I'm done. It's getting better but is still pretty rough.

The last one to point out is probably the most basic however. Before you read the rest of this take a big deep breath. Go ahead do it.....

That is probably one of the smallest things in the world that we take for granted everyday. And while yes I can breath, its tough sometimes. I can't take a big deep breath. I can maybe take in half what the average person can. To yawn I take three quick breathes and hope it's enough. When I walk up the driveway and stairs into the house I have to sit down and catch my breath. Believe me when I say it's tough. I definitely don't take breathing for granted any more.

Now please don't take this post as me complaining or ranting. My life doesn't suck. It's just a little more difficult now than it usually is. I am happy to have all the things that I do. My family, a place to live, a good job, I mean I could go on for days. In a lot of ways I am lucky to be alive and I know that. I just think that going through this process has made me realize how important those small things really are. Being able to take that big deep breath is something to be thankful for. I envy that big yawn you just took.

In conclusion, my point to all this is that I just want other people to understand how important the small things really are. Just be sure that everyday you say "thank you" for one of those small things. Just pick one thing, person, place, or whatever it may be everyday to say "Thank you" for and see how that makes you feel. You'll begin to realize how good life really is. When times are tough and work is stressful remember there are still things in life to be thankful for.

So "Thank You"