Human Guinea Pig

Monday is getting closer and closer with every passing second. I can feel it approaching. After yesterdays pre-op testing it started to feel more like reality than it has in the past.

I showed up at the hospital at 8:00 AM. I rarely show up anywhere at 8:00 in the morning. Arriving to the hospital was a little odd too. It wasn't just another Dr's office it was "The Hospital." But, looking on the bright side they do have valet parking...and it's free. I'm sure they might appreciate a tip but as a patient getting ready to shell out some serious dough to that place I didn't feel too bad when I stiffed the guy...but I digress.

As my pre-op appointment started a very nice lady walked me through all the paper work. Normally when you get to the Dr they make you fill out sheet after sheet of paper work. In this case they actually walked me right through it. They put most of it into the system electronically and when I was finished they printed it out and had me sign it. In the past two weeks I have signed so many documents I'm pretty sure the hospital owns my house or my first born child, I had trouble deciphering all the legal jargen. You also get to have a super fun conversation about a living-will and durable power of attorney. Trying to figure out who should make the call to take me off life support should that be an issue or, do I want to be fed intravenously should I not be able to eat and make conscious decisions are not things you really think about as a healthy 27 year old. As a 27 year old getting ready for open heart surgery it all of a sudden becomes a very real decision to consider.

After the check in nurse was finished the anesthesiologist came in. Not the one I will see on Monday morning but one that could ask and answer a few questions. She walked me through where they would place the four IVs that I would have. She also filled me in on the fact that I would probably start to wake up with an intibation tube down my throat. That didn't sound like a lot of fun. She did however promise that I would be so drugged up that I probably wouldn't remember any of it so I guess it's nothing to really stress about. Sounds like I'm gonna be hi as a kite for a few days actually.

After all the paper work was finished I went back to a screening room for a few tests and more conversation. They took my blood pressure and, since I am having heart surgery, they did another EKG. They also tested me for MRSA. It's some crazy infection that can kill you and they want to make sure it's not present before you go into surgery. That test was the worst part of the day. They took a cotton swab, think long Q-Tip, and ran it up into my nose until it stopped and then twirled it around five times. Just as my eyes began to stop watering they do the other nostril. After a few minutes of not being able to see because my eyes were watering it was all fine. From there I was sent to the lab so they could take a urine sample and draw blood. They took six vials of blood to run every test you can think of. You know all those fancy tests they scream out as a patient rolls in the emergency room on ER or Greys Anatomy, I got those. Once they were done pillaging my bodily fluids I was sent to X-Ray. Two quick shots of my chest and I was out. All said and done it was close to three hours. Not too bad and it will stream line everything Monday morning. With all this out of the way I just head straight to check in on Monday and no paper work for me.

One more day of "normal" and then I'm gonna be the bionic man!